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I love my son, but...I hate autism!

Can I just say, my son is absolutely amazing!!! He is my whole entire world but...I HATE AUTISM!!! 

I hate that he has to have it. 

I hate that he struggles daily with simple things that we take for granted. 

I hate that he can't control his tantrums because he doesn't know how to control his emotions. 

I hate that I have to worry about him being bullied because of autism. I just hate it. 

I hate that I'm jealous of other moms because their kids don't have autism. 

I hate that I cry every day. 

I hate that I hate it so much.

But I have so much love for my little boy. When he finally reaches a milestone it's the best feeling in the world. 

When he comes and gives me big squeezes and stares with those big blue eyes into my eyes with all the love in the world, I melt. 

He is my world and as much as I hate autism, I love that he loves me and I love him more than anything. 

And that means so much more than the hate.

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