Through Nathan's Eyes

The other day we were in line at the store. Nathan got to pick out candy and he was so excited. He put his candy on the counter and watched as I was checking out. He was jumping up and down and flapping his arms like he does when he is super excited. Nathan has always "flapped" out of excitement. He will jump and flap, he will lay on the ground and flap. It's a form of stimulation for him and very common in autism. There were some older gentlemen behind us in line and they were commenting about how excited Nathan was for his candy, in a very kind way.  It's very cute to watch him. His joy radiates when he gets super excited about something. It really is the cutest thing to see. But as I was driving home from the store, I got to thinking about Nathan's future.  He's getting older. At 5 years old jumping up and down and flapping your hands is cute. But I know that it won't be considered "cute" when he's bigger, older.  What happens when the &qu

I think about my life and how I imagined it to be. I was going to be married and have children. And we would have a perfect household without chaos. My kids would be in sports and I would be that mom who was at every single practice and game.  That was going to be my life. Well I got the marriage and the family.  But our home is full of chaos. There is very rarely a quiet moment and it's usually when everyone is asleep. Neither of my children play sports. (To be fair my daughter is only one.) And our family is far from perfect. But how could that be? I did everything right.  I had a career. I got married. We planned for our first child when we felt ready. I did everything by the book with my pregnancy. I have never done drugs and I rarely drink.  Why did my child end up with autism? The answer to that question: Autism does not discriminate. Autism doesn't care if you are married or a single parent. Autism doesn't care if you live in a huge house or if you are homeless. Auti