I wonder what it's like to not speak?

I'm crying my eyes out while reading an article about being non-verbal.

I have spoke the words in the article so many times.

I wonder what's going on in my beautiful child's brain?

How hard it must be for him to not be able to tell me how he's feeling, what makes him happy, what makes him sad, when he wakes up with night terrors what caused them?

I just comfort him the way I know best. We snuggle and sing. His song is "you are my Sunshine." This song works for him every time.

Nathan is trying so hard every day to say his words. Even if we just get the sound of the first letter we are ecstatic and overly praise him.

I never thought in a million years I'd have a child who couldn't talk to me, but here we are and it is definitely a journey. 💙💙💙

Comments

Nothing Comes Easy

Nathan got a "big boy" bike for Christmas. He's five so it seemed fitting. But in our world age doesn't mean anything. He's five and just got potty trained a few months ago. He's five and still can't talk. He's five and is still learning how to dress himself. So being five really doesn't matter. He was outside today on his bike. He loves it. He gets on it like a big boy and tries so hard, but he can't ride it. He doesn't understand the concept of pedaling. So his dad pushes him along pushing his feet as they go. I stood in the window watching with tears in my eyes. On one hand they are tears of utter joy that my son is out there trying to ride his bike. But...on the other hand my tears are of such sadness that everything he does is so extra hard for him. It tears me apart. I know he will get it. I know he won't give up...we won't give up. We will celebrate the milestone extra hard when he's riding a long all on his own. A...

Daddy, I've been watching you

Today while driving in the car we heard these lyrics: "He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are We like fixing things and holding mama's hand Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad I wanna do everything you do So I've been watching you" I started to tear up. I got to thinking about our little boy. Nathan is 5 and is non-verbal with autism. He can say some words when prompted but cannot hold a conversation. When I heard the lyrics I started thinking that Nathan can't say these words to his dad. He can't tell him with his voice how much he wants to be like his dad. But with autism we have learned that words aren't the only way to show love. Nathan constantly tells his dad "I wanna do everything you do, so I've been watching you." He shows it every time he puts on his dad's hat. He shows it every time he grabs the hair cli...

A Letter to my son's Teacher

To my son's teacher From the time I found out that Nathan had autism I started thinking about school and I always got anxiety. Once he entered his second year of pre school my anxiety started going through the roof. I was so worried about him going to Kindergarten. I would cry most nights thinking about it. He was safe in pre school. He had routine. He loved his teacher. I would wonder who his new teacher was going to be. I would pray every single night that God would protect him always and give him the best people in his life to help him continue to grow. To protect him like I would. To keep him safe. The answer to my prayers came when I got the call from you. The moment I spoke to you, I knew God had answered my prayers. Stacey, Nathan has been blessed more than you could ever know. You listened to every single concern without judgement. You listened to every single need of Nathan's. You always go above and beyond to make sure we know Nathan is good. The way you call...

Through Nathan's Eyes

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