Skip to main content

Why me, God?

It's so hard to not ask why? 

Why was I the one that was given the child with the disability? I did everything right. 

Why would God punish me? I believe in Him, I thank Him for my blessings every night. 

It's so hard not to feel like you are being punished for something. Or your child is being punished for something you did.

But I look at my sweet boy and I realize it's not a punishment. He knows Nathan needs me and that I will fight with every bone in my body to make sure he has a good life. 

I will be his voice, his advocate, his hug, his discipline. I will do it all.

Do I have days where I question God? Yes I do, but I know nobody could give Nathan all that he deserves like his dad and me!!! He is our world and we will do our best to come into his world and see through his eyes!!!💙💙💙 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You can never be too young to advocate for autism

I usually post a picture of our family wearing shirts to promote world autism day. This year we didn't get the chance to do that. But we promote and advocate autism all year long.   This picture represents how our whole family knows autism, we live with autism and we work hard to make sure that Nathan knows he's more than just autism. See when we were about to have Nathan's little sister, Chayse, I was a nervous wreck. I was so worried that Nathan wouldn't adapt to her. That he wouldn't pay attention to her. Boy was I wrong. From day one he loved her. He wanted her near him all of the time. He made sure we never left home without her. He was her big brother. Now that Chayse is 3 years old she has surpassed Nathan in a few things. She can talk in full sentences. She can use the potty. She makes friends. But the one thing she does best is helping her big brother. She gets concerned when he's having a hard time. She goes to him and wants to help fix his "boo b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Autism Changed our Marriage

"Your son has autism."  These words were a sledgehammer to my chest.  These were the words that changed our lives. These were the words that changed our marriage. Neither one of us wanted to accept it. We didn't want our son to have a lifelong struggle. We wanted his life to be as easy as we were able to help make it.  Dom didn't want to accept it at first. He didn't want to believe that anything could be wrong. He wanted to keep believing that Nathan would be fine. I on the other hand dove into the dreaded INTERNET. This was the worst thing that I could do to myself. I would read the worst of the worst about autism and cause myself such anxiety and stress. I would cry all day long. Dom didn't want to hear any of it. He would get so angry that I would "intentionally" make myself cry.  I began keeping what I would find to myself. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about it.  With Autism comes anxiety. Nathan's anxiety would increase.  He would...
1 comment
Read more

The decision to give our 4 year old meds

When we got Nathan's diagnosis in July of 2018, it was a lot to process. We knew he had something going on with him and had our suspicions for a long time, but it still cut deep to hear the official diagnosis. Dom and I said we will do everything we can to help, but with a cliche thought and lack of understanding, we were both adamant about not "drugging our child." Fast forward to 2020 we had to do something. When you watch your poor 4 year old deal with so much anxiety about day-to-day living, it breaks your heart. Nathan's anxiety comes in the forms of not sleeping - waking up at 2:00 am and not going back to sleep.  His anxiety is shown through melt downs that cannot be consoled. His anxiety comes in the form of having something in his head, that he can't communicate, and being stuck on it for hours and sometimes days.  Anxiety for Nathan is moving every picture that is not attached to a wall to different rooms in the house, literally all day long....
1 comment
Read more