What happens when the "Cute" wears off?

The other day we were in line at the store. Nathan got to pick out candy and he was so excited. He put his candy on the counter and watched as I was checking out.

He was jumping up and down and flapping his arms like he does when he is super excited.

Nathan has always "flapped" out of excitement. He will jump and flap, he will lay on the ground and flap. It's a form of stimulation for him and very common in autism.

There were some older gentlemen behind us in line and they were commenting about how excited Nathan was for his candy, in a very kind way.

It's very cute to watch him. His joy radiates when he gets super excited about something. It really is the cutest thing to see.

But as I was driving home from the store, I got to thinking about Nathan's future.

He's getting older. At 5 years old jumping up and down and flapping your hands is cute. But I know that it won't be considered "cute" when he's bigger, older.

What happens when the "cute" wears off?

I know that if he is 10 years old, 13 years old, an adult he may still be using this behavior to show excitement.

And let's face it the world can be cruel. He will get stared at, he will get laughed at, he will get mocked.

I worry for him as he gets older.

When we initially got his Autism diagnosis, my mind instantly went to "I don't ever want my little boy to be teased." I don't ever want him to have a harder life than this world could already throw at him.

I always wanted what every parent wants, to give my children the world. I want their life to be as easy as I can help make it and here is an added hardship to my baby boy.

So what happens when the "cute" wears off?

I can't do much about how people will react to Nathan as he gets older. I can only continue to advocate for him, to teach people about Autism, to help people to learn to be kind.

Nathan will always have quirks, maybe he will continue to flap, but we will embrace and love him and show him that different is beautiful, never less.

In my eyes, Nathan's "cute" will never wear off, Nathan will always be cute!!!

Comments

Nothing Comes Easy

Nathan got a "big boy" bike for Christmas. He's five so it seemed fitting. But in our world age doesn't mean anything. He's five and just got potty trained a few months ago. He's five and still can't talk. He's five and is still learning how to dress himself. So being five really doesn't matter. He was outside today on his bike. He loves it. He gets on it like a big boy and tries so hard, but he can't ride it. He doesn't understand the concept of pedaling. So his dad pushes him along pushing his feet as they go. I stood in the window watching with tears in my eyes. On one hand they are tears of utter joy that my son is out there trying to ride his bike. But...on the other hand my tears are of such sadness that everything he does is so extra hard for him. It tears me apart. I know he will get it. I know he won't give up...we won't give up. We will celebrate the milestone extra hard when he's riding a long all on his own. A

Daddy, I've been watching you

Today while driving in the car we heard these lyrics: "He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are We like fixing things and holding mama's hand Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad I wanna do everything you do So I've been watching you" I started to tear up. I got to thinking about our little boy. Nathan is 5 and is non-verbal with autism. He can say some words when prompted but cannot hold a conversation. When I heard the lyrics I started thinking that Nathan can't say these words to his dad. He can't tell him with his voice how much he wants to be like his dad. But with autism we have learned that words aren't the only way to show love. Nathan constantly tells his dad "I wanna do everything you do, so I've been watching you." He shows it every time he puts on his dad's hat. He shows it every time he grabs the hair cli

Autism Changed our Marriage

"Your son has autism." These words were a sledgehammer to my chest. These were the words that changed our lives. These were the words that changed our marriage. Neither one of us wanted to accept it. We didn't want our son to have a lifelong struggle. We wanted his life to be as easy as we were able to help make it. Dom didn't want to accept it at first. He didn't want to believe that anything could be wrong. He wanted to keep believing that Nathan would be fine. I on the other hand dove into the dreaded INTERNET. This was the worst thing that I could do to myself. I would read the worst of the worst about autism and cause myself such anxiety and stress. I would cry all day long. Dom didn't want to hear any of it. He would get so angry that I would "intentionally" make myself cry. I began keeping what I would find to myself. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about it. With Autism comes anxiety. Nathan's anxiety would increase. He would

Through Nathan's Eyes

Search This Blog