Autism does not discriminate

I think about my life and how I imagined it to be. I was going to be married and have children. And we would have a perfect household without chaos. My kids would be in sports and I would be that mom who was at every single practice and game.

That was going to be my life.

Well I got the marriage and the family.

But our home is full of chaos. There is very rarely a quiet moment and it's usually when everyone is asleep.

Neither of my children play sports. (To be fair my daughter is only one.)

And our family is far from perfect.

But how could that be? I did everything right.

I had a career. I got married. We planned for our first child when we felt ready. I did everything by the book with my pregnancy. I have never done drugs and I rarely drink.

Why did my child end up with autism?

The answer to that question: Autism does not discriminate.

Autism doesn't care if you are married or a single parent.

Autism doesn't care if you live in a huge house or if you are homeless.

Autism doesn't discriminate based on your race or gender.

Autism doesn't care where you are from.

Autism doesn't care if you are rich or poor.

It affects so many people without rhyme or reason.

I have to say that is one of the hardest parts. I know I did everything I could to try to have the healthiest child possible and here we are.

God had different plans for us and I truly believe that. Do I understand why those plans were made for us? Absolutely not. But Nathan is who he is. He's a bright and happy little boy who struggles with extra things.

As much as I tried to have the healthiest baby possible, I will try even harder to make his life as perfect as I can.

I will continue to step into his world and see it through his eyes.

Comments

Nothing Comes Easy

Nathan got a "big boy" bike for Christmas. He's five so it seemed fitting. But in our world age doesn't mean anything. He's five and just got potty trained a few months ago. He's five and still can't talk. He's five and is still learning how to dress himself. So being five really doesn't matter. He was outside today on his bike. He loves it. He gets on it like a big boy and tries so hard, but he can't ride it. He doesn't understand the concept of pedaling. So his dad pushes him along pushing his feet as they go. I stood in the window watching with tears in my eyes. On one hand they are tears of utter joy that my son is out there trying to ride his bike. But...on the other hand my tears are of such sadness that everything he does is so extra hard for him. It tears me apart. I know he will get it. I know he won't give up...we won't give up. We will celebrate the milestone extra hard when he's riding a long all on his own. A

Daddy, I've been watching you

Today while driving in the car we heard these lyrics: "He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are We like fixing things and holding mama's hand Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad I wanna do everything you do So I've been watching you" I started to tear up. I got to thinking about our little boy. Nathan is 5 and is non-verbal with autism. He can say some words when prompted but cannot hold a conversation. When I heard the lyrics I started thinking that Nathan can't say these words to his dad. He can't tell him with his voice how much he wants to be like his dad. But with autism we have learned that words aren't the only way to show love. Nathan constantly tells his dad "I wanna do everything you do, so I've been watching you." He shows it every time he puts on his dad's hat. He shows it every time he grabs the hair cli

Autism Changed our Marriage

"Your son has autism." These words were a sledgehammer to my chest. These were the words that changed our lives. These were the words that changed our marriage. Neither one of us wanted to accept it. We didn't want our son to have a lifelong struggle. We wanted his life to be as easy as we were able to help make it. Dom didn't want to accept it at first. He didn't want to believe that anything could be wrong. He wanted to keep believing that Nathan would be fine. I on the other hand dove into the dreaded INTERNET. This was the worst thing that I could do to myself. I would read the worst of the worst about autism and cause myself such anxiety and stress. I would cry all day long. Dom didn't want to hear any of it. He would get so angry that I would "intentionally" make myself cry. I began keeping what I would find to myself. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about it. With Autism comes anxiety. Nathan's anxiety would increase. He would

Through Nathan's Eyes

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