I think about my life and how I imagined it to be. I was going to be married and have children. And we would have a perfect household without chaos. My kids would be in sports and I would be that mom who was at every single practice and game.
That was going to be my life.
Well I got the marriage and the family.
But our home is full of chaos. There is very rarely a quiet moment and it's usually when everyone is asleep.
Neither of my children play sports. (To be fair my daughter is only one.)
And our family is far from perfect.
But how could that be? I did everything right.
I had a career. I got married. We planned for our first child when we felt ready. I did everything by the book with my pregnancy. I have never done drugs and I rarely drink.
Why did my child end up with autism?
The answer to that question: Autism does not discriminate.
Autism doesn't care if you are married or a single parent.
Autism doesn't care if you live in a huge house or if you are homeless.
Autism doesn't discriminate based on your race or gender.
Autism doesn't care where you are from.
Autism doesn't care if you are rich or poor.
It affects so many people without rhyme or reason.
I have to say that is one of the hardest parts. I know I did everything I could to try to have the healthiest child possible and here we are.
God had different plans for us and I truly believe that. Do I understand why those plans were made for us? Absolutely not. But Nathan is who he is. He's a bright and happy little boy who struggles with extra things.
As much as I tried to have the healthiest baby possible, I will try even harder to make his life as perfect as I can.
I will continue to step into his world and see it through his eyes.
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